What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
