yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
