it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
