when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
