its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
