I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
