Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
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