one two three fourrrrnication!
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
My ass is underappreciated
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
