No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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