god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
