this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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