Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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