Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
