I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
