Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
farters have to be the big spoon...
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
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