I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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