i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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