just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
