I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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