DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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