i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
