I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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