Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
