Just mADE A PArabola og urine
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
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