i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Randomize
