Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
