First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
