"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I did not marry a roomba.
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