WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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