Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize
