i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
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