I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
