well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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