i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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