Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Randomize
