oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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