If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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