I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Randomize
