he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Randomize
