I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
it was like eating out sand paper
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
