You're my little dorito
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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