it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
