I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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