I hope mine doesn't look like that
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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