it glows. i had to have it.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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