Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
