Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
