i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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