better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
