I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
