i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
